Say it
by Liliandria Rose
Summary: He loves her, beyond reason, beyond comprehension and thats why he has to let her go. He has to forget how perfect she is, has to forget that he'd ever called her his. He has to remember that she deserves better but she's got other plans and a late night phone call puts his determination to the test.


(Okay so I know I really shouldn't work on anything other than the one fiction I have out now, but I heard this song on the radio today and though I know most people wouldn't think of Dean Ambrose in a country song, to me this was just perfect and really struck me. Also for now this is a one shot, but it could become more if people wanted it too just let me know in reviews!

Song: Fell in love in a cop car- Keith Urban

Warnings: Do not own Jon Good/Dean Ambrose though I really wish I did. Mature audiences only due to adult themes and language.)

Jon fell back against his bed with a tired sigh, damn was he sore. They hadn't had any breaks in a couple months and the off camera work was killing him. If there was one part about the gig that worked his nerves it was the interviews. Sure some were alright, real fans that knew their shit, but the others. Those could go throw themselves from a couple cliffs for all the cared. He was so sick and tired of people asking him if he considered himself a sports athlete with what he did for a living. Dare one of those sons of bitches to get into the gym with him; they'd see who the real athlete was then.

Either way it didn't matter, nothing was ever going to change and if he wanted to keep the money coming, then he'd just have to get used to it. Rubbing his hands across his face he stared up at the dark ceiling above him and tried to will his body to find the sleep it so desperately needed, he had a cross fit session with Colby and Jo in the morning. Yet even as he tried to convince his brain that that was the wiser course of action, instead all he would feel would be the energy that refused to simmer down coursing through his body.

When his phone buzzed on the night stand beside him Jon was almost grateful for the distraction. He rolled and picked up the phone, coming back onto his back as he looked at the unknown number. Normally he'd just forward it, but tonight he was carrying a hefty lode of don't give a fuck. Flicking the phone open he would bring it to his ear and gave a sharp, "Good."

"You haven't been good a single day in your life Jon, don't go lying about it now." A low seductive purr echoed in his ear and instantly he was taken back in time. He almost released a groan as his heart began beating a pounding rhythm against his ribs as he closed his eyes and he simply allowed her voice to take him back.

"Oh but that aint true baby and you know it, it was good, real good just you and me. "He made his tone deeper than it normally was, knew how she liked it when he growled in her ear. Damn it this phone call shouldn't be going on, they had agreed that it was time that they move on, yet just one single whisper from her and he was right back where he swore he'd never be, all over again. The only thing that made it slightly better was that she'd called him, meaning she'd been just as lonesome for him as he was for her.

"Too damn good. I tried Jon I really did. I moved, changed my number and even got a boyfriend and a dog. He's amazing, the dog not the boyfriend. I've done everything we said we would do, but I can't stop Jon. I don't know how…I'm sorry."

He could hear the pain in that last word and closed his eyes tight trying to guard his heart from the tears he heard in her voice but he couldn't, he'd never been able to turn away from her, he probably never would. "Shhh baby its okay I couldn't either." He admitted and reached for his wallet sitting on the table beside him. Flicking it open he stared at the faded and worn picture of the two of them, both in high school sitting on the tailgate of his old beat up pick up looking so young it hurt.

"Do you remember that night we got caught by the police?" she asked quietly and Jon smirked, hearing the laughter in her voice even over the sadness. He'd give anything to make it where she never had to cry again. He was an asshole, a dick and a bastard and he'd never claimed to be otherwise, but for her, for her he'd be anything and everything she wanted him to be. He'd be the good guy; he'd follow the rules, just so long as she didn't cry. But she'd never wanted him to be the good guy, never asked him to be anything other than what he was.

"How could I forget? I still don't know how we ended up being let go that night, what with all that sass you were throwing out there at them. "

"You were the one threatening to cause the younger guy physical harm if he didn't stop staring at my tits." She laughed and the sound of it in his ear had his chest tightening. He wished to god she was there right then, so he could drink in the taste of it on her lips.

"Yea well what can I say, I didn't like the way he was lookin at 'em, its one thing to appreciate another thing entirely to get a boner while doing it." He growled, his remembered anger returning as he thought of that smug cops face as he smiled down and visibly measured her breasts with his hungry gaze. It had taken every ounce of will power he'd had then not to slam his fist into the creeps face and just thinking about it now his fist clenched at his side.

"Oh so only you can huh?" she giggled and it was the sound of that sweet husky cadence that had him settling down once more and shaking his head as he centered his gaze on the ceiling and a smile curving his lips.

"Well yea, I've been playin with them damn things since they were nothing more than little bumps I'd say I had invested stock in them. " Jon smirked wishing like hell she could see him, that he could see her and that she was right here, at his side so he could hold her, touch her, and feel her there against him. He hated all these romantic thoughts flowing around in his usually cynical and dark head, but she was different and for her he was different too.

"Hmm I'm looking at them right now and they don't have your name on them anywhere, in fact I think they've forgotten what your name even is." She teased him and he groaned, just imaging her laying there on her bed, her hand pulling her top down to take a gander at those beautiful lush mounds. He could feel his body stirring to life and reached a hand down to shift his length to try and get it more comfortable.

"Oh baby, don't even try to play that game. I didn't just write my name all over that body, I branded it there and you know it." He paused then and gave a chuckle as his mind flashed back to the night she'd brought up. "I just knew we were going to go to jail and your daddy was gonna kill me. Little miss perfect, hanging out with the kid from the wrong side of the tracks and the first night he takes her on a date they get arrested. I'd have never seen you again, hell if I'd even been around to breathe after he got done with me."

She would laugh and it somehow found a way through the phone to wrap itself around him and fog his brain from anything that didn't have something to do with her. "Oh and he would have, they'd have never found your body." She teases, "But of course we were going to be okay, what with my mad flirting skills and everything."

It was Jon's turn to laugh then and he shook his head as he moved his arm back to cradle his head, allowing his eyes to close to better savor the sound of her in his ear and the memories her words provoked. "Baby you didn't know how to flirt your way out of paper bag back then. I think we got let go just so they could get you out of their hair. Lord only knew what hell you would have raised had they actually taken us down town."

"I'll have you know I was an excellent flirt thank you very much, if I hadn't been then why did Scott start sniffin around afterwards? Admit it, I did good and you know it." There was pride in that tone; he could hear it loud and clear through the receiver making him smirk.

"Alright alright, for a fresh accomplice, you didn't do half bad. I thought old Sheriff Thompson was going to have a stroke when you asked him for a light with those overly batty eyelashes of yours and that goofy smile that you were trying to pull off as seductive. I actually felt bad for him, sent him a bottle of whiskey to make up for it."And he had actually, but only to buy the man off so he wouldn't go snitching to her daddy. She didn't need to know that though.

"Well it was better than that half baked plan you had going on." She smirked and he could hear the grin in her voice, wanted so badly to trace it with his fingertips, to watch the lights dancing in her eyes as she teased him with this bad planning of his youth. "You're the one that said we should try and make a break for it."

"Well it would have been one hell of a story." He laughed and when he heard nothing in response he shifted in the bed and propped himself up on the headboard, his attention focused on the silence on the other end. "What is it, what's wrong?"

When he heard the dejected sniff on the other end he felt as if every piece of armor he skillfully crafted around him since the last time they'd seen each other went tumbling down uselessly leaving him open and vulnerable, his scars bared for only her to see, the only one he trusted enough to let see. "Baby what is it?" He urged her again; his heart stopping in his chest as he tried to imagine what all could possibly get her so upset.

"Why didn't we Jon? Why didn't we just make a break for it and keep on running till they couldn't stop us. God I miss you, I miss you so much it hurts." She cried and every little sob was like a punch to his gut and a stab to his heart. "Why did we do this Jon? Why couldn't we just stay in Cincinnati, get normal jobs and live normal lives."

"Because that's not who we are, we aren't normal, least I aint ever been, you…you are. Find you a nice good guy; settle down with the whole dog and kids and shit. You were meant for that, it's what you've always wanted."

"Not if you're not in it Jon," came the reply that brought him instant relief to the agony that had flowed into him just saying the words out loud, the mental image of her married and glowing with another man had tore at him and twisted his gut. But with the relief came its own sadness as well. She'd give it all up to wait on him if he'd let her and knowing that just made him feel even more worthless of her.

"You gotta let this go doll, we both do. We both know your daddy was right, I aint the right man for you, never was and never will be. I done proved it with all the shit I went through, what I put you through. The drugs, the sex, there were so many women I couldn't even begin to count. Do you want that, to live with the knowledge that at any moment I could slip up? There's plenty of ring rats to go around who are more than happy to help me after a long night on the road."

"Stop it Jon." Her voice was caught somewhere between tears and anger and it killed Jon to say the words but damn it they had to stop doing this, they had to let each other go…he had to let her go. He had too; otherwise he was the selfish prick that everyone thought he was. He couldn't be that way with her, not after all she'd ever done for him. So no matter how hard this was he had to do it. "Stop pretending with me. So what, you went on the road, you got lost in it and you've found your way back. We weren't together, you never cheated on me and you did the drugs when you were in Mexico. You can sit there all you want and try and push me away Jon Goode but we both know the truth. You're never getting rid of me just like I can never be rid of you. "

"Damn it you're still living in those damn romance novels of yours. I'm not a good man! If I was do you think I'd be sitting is this empty hotel room with you thousands of miles away, crying in my ear while all I can think about is burying this fucking hard on I have so deep inside you that you wouldn't walk right for a week! "

Her little giggle took the wind right out of his sails and had him closing his eyes as he banged his head on the headboard of the hotel bed before running his hand over his eyes, pinching at his nose. "You got a hard on for me huh?"

"I hate you. I really fucking do." He growled and for a moment he truly thought he might mean it but just as briefly as that lie come life it died horribly knowing he couldn't keep it up. "It's over baby." He tried to keep his voice determined, if she noted even the slightest hint of weakness she'd attack with the ferocity of a lioness.

"No you don't, you love me Jon. I'm the only woman you have ever loved and I'm the only woman you ever will. If you want this to be over, you're going to have to say it to my face for me to ever believe it." When he heard the smile in her tone he closed his eyes and slammed his head back against the headboard once more. There was no point in trying to argue with her; they both knew it was true. She held a part of his soul that no other being on this planet or god in heaven could own.

"Kinda hard to do that baby when I'm all the way over here in Vegas and your…where are you anyway?" he questioned, his eyes briefly falling to the phone he pulls away from his ear trying to determine where the area code was from.

"If you could say it too my face, would you Jon? Would you really send me away and tell me to move one. To never call to hear my voice, to never drive by just to see if I still live there. You would really be able to?"

"Damn right." He growled, lying to the both of them but determined to make it true. He had to do this for her, had to let her go. There was a knock on his door, and at first he ignored it, instead focusing on the conversation it her. "I'd walk away and never look back." When there was another knock on the door he growled and gave it a glare before rolling out of the bed. "Hold on babe."

He paused mid step when he heard the click on the phone and sighed, his heart aching. He'd hurt her, so much that she actually gave up. She hadn't even told him goodbye. When another knock came he'd roar and toss his phone against the wall before throwing open the door with murder in his gaze. "What the fuck do you want?!" But then he was stunned speechless when his eyes drank in the sight of her standing there, phone in hand, tears on her cheeks with her luggage there at her feet.

She was more beautiful than any version of her he'd ever dreamed of, and when he saw her trembling lips as she held back…tears? Laughter? Fuck if he knew what it was all he knew was that he had to make them stop, had to wipe those tears away and swear never to bring them back even though they both knew he would.

"So say it," she said, more tears leaking from her luminous eyes as they glared at him. "Tell me to my face that you don't want me and so help me god I will walk away and never come back Jon." She vowed and when he stepped closer to her she took a step back holding out a hand to prevent him from coming any closer, knowing she wouldn't have the strength to leave if he touched her. That was too damn bad, because he was going to touch her, he was going to touch ever last inch of her and then he'd do it again just for the hell of it.

He took her hand and pulled her roughly against him, lavishing in the feel of her there in his arms right where she belonged. He took her chin and forced her head back so he could stare into tear filled eyes, could see the love and anguish there in their watery depths. He knew what he should do, knew what he had to do if he ever wanted to be a good man towards her. Yet right now he couldn't, he was a selfish prick and low life scum and he couldn't do it. "I'll say it tomorrow." He vowed before he would lift her up into his arms, his mouth devouring her sweet lips as he turned them and kicked the door closed behind him, he'd get those bags later.


End file.
